current status: not being kissed or riding a dragon this is unacceptable
Unsure about my haircut…or maybe rather, my face.
The 1975 - Sex
how to improve a skirt: add pockets. how to improve a dress: add pockets. how to improve jeans: add pockets. how to improve a cardigan: add pockets. how to improve your acne: add pockets. how to improve your shattered relationships: add pockets
…and are willing to share it with people that want to get to know you
*swipes debit card*
*purchase goes through*
me: God is good all the time
Cashier: all the time God is good
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
something i think about a lot is what if alien species have less biodiversity on their planets. like if they’ve got maybe 20, 25 species of bugs, total. so they come to earth and they’re like “whoa.” or they’ll like be like walking down the street and they’re like “ok what’s…